Getting into a Manhattan private club is hard. Getting thrown out is surprisingly easy. Here are the behaviors that get members suspended, quietly not renewed or banned, based on the clubs’ own rules, and how to stay on the right side of them.

What gets you banned, at a glance

Behavior Typical consequence
Taking photos or video inside Confiscation, suspension or loss of privileges
Sharing details about members or private events Discipline, up to termination
Letting someone else use your card Suspension or termination
A guest who breaks the rules The member is held responsible
Approaching people who want to be left alone Suspension or termination
Abusive or violent behavior Suspension or expulsion
Unpaid bills or dues Suspension, then termination
Not fitting the club’s direction Membership not renewed

Most people think of club membership as the finish line. You applied, you waited, you got in. Congratulations. Now the real test begins, and unlike the application, it never ends.

Every club in Manhattan keeps the right to remove members, and the reasons are written down more clearly than most people realize. Soho House, for example, publishes its house rules online, including a list of behaviors that can lead to suspension or termination, and a Membership Behaviour Committee that reviews incidents.

Read them and a pattern appears. Almost nobody gets thrown out for being poor or unfashionable. They get thrown out for breaking the one promise every club makes to its members: what happens here stays here.

What gets you banned from a private club?

The most common reasons members lose their place at a Manhattan private club are taking photos inside, sharing private details about members or events, letting someone else use their card, bringing guests who misbehave, bothering people who want privacy, and behaving abusively. Unpaid bills can also lead to suspension.

Soho House’s rules list all of these, along with a broad catch-all: conduct the club considers contrary to its interests can lead to expulsion, suspension or termination at its discretion. Most clubs have a similar clause. In other words, the written rules are the minimum. The real rule is “do not make us regret letting you in.”

Rule one: no photos, no posts

The fastest way to lose a club membership is to photograph the room. Soho House prohibits cameras and recording devices, including live-streaming, and says houses may confiscate photos or videos taken inside. At the Aman Club, photos are not allowed in the bar, according to the South China Morning Post.

The rule has real consequences. Members of Casa Cipriani reportedly lost privileges after a photo of Taylor Swift and Matty Healy at the club leaked, according to Dan’s Papers, citing the New York Post. One photo, posted for a few likes, can end a membership that took years to earn. Our story on the private club phone ban explains why clubs take it so seriously.

Rule two: what you hear stays in the room

Clubs also prohibit sharing details about members, guests or private events, whether to the press or on social media. Soho House’s rules say members can be held accountable for disclosing such details publicly. The point is simple: members speak freely in a club because they trust everyone in it.

That includes gossip. A story told at the bar that ends up in a group chat, and then in a newspaper, can be traced back faster than most people expect. In a room this small, being known as discreet is worth more than being known as well connected.

Rule three: your card is yours alone

Letting a friend, partner or colleague use your membership card is one of the most common ways members get into trouble, usually without meaning any harm. Soho House lists it as grounds for suspension or termination. Memberships are personal, approved by a committee for one specific person.

Think of it like lending someone your passport. You might trust them completely, but the person at the border does not know them. Our story on who keeps the club after a breakup covers what happens when a couple shares one card and then stops sharing everything else.

Rule four: you are responsible for your guests

At most clubs, a member is responsible for everything their guests do. Soho House’s rules say guests cannot enter without the member, cannot stay after the member leaves, and that a guest who breaks the rules can lead to the member’s suspension or termination.

That makes choosing guests a serious decision. Bring someone who will take photos, talk loudly about other members or approach a famous face for a selfie, and you are the one who pays for it. A good rule of thumb: only bring people you would happily introduce to your sponsor.

Rule five: leave people alone

Clubs protect members who want privacy, especially well-known ones. Soho House warns against approaching people who may not want attention and lists it as possible grounds for suspension or termination. At clubs with celebrity members, this rule is enforced carefully.

The polite way to treat a famous member is the way you would treat anyone else: a nod if you know them, nothing at all if you do not. The whole reason they joined was to have dinner without being noticed. Give them that, and the room stays the kind of place everyone wants to be.

Can a club just decide not to renew you?

Yes. Many clubs renew memberships each year, and renewal is not automatic. Page Six reported that Casa Cipriani declined to renew some memberships as it reshaped its crowd, with some members receiving emails saying their membership was inactive, according to Esquire Australia. Soho House renewals are reviewed by its Membership Behaviour Committee, according to Pearl.

Non-renewal is the quiet version of a ban. No scene, no letter explaining why, just a membership that does not come back. It usually happens to members who never broke a written rule but never quite became part of the room either. Our story on Casa Cipriani looks at that case in detail.

How to stay in good standing

Staying in good standing at a Manhattan club is mostly common sense. Keep your phone in your pocket. Keep other members’ business to yourself. Use your own card. Choose guests carefully. Pay your bills on time. Treat the staff well. And show up often enough that people know who you are.

The members who never have to worry about any of this are the ones who treat the club like a friend’s home rather than a venue. They do not need a rulebook, because they already behave the way the rulebook hopes everyone will. Be that member, and the only list you will ever end up on is the one for the good parties. For how clubs decide who gets in, read our hub on how to get into a private club in NYC, and for the bigger picture, our guide to the velvet rope wars.

Frequently asked questions

Can you be banned from Soho House?
Yes. Soho House’s published house rules list behaviors that can lead to suspension or termination, including taking photos, letting someone else use your card, sharing private details, approaching people who may not want attention and abusive conduct. A Membership Behaviour Committee reviews incidents.

Do you get your membership fees back if you are expelled?
Generally not. Most clubs’ terms say initiation fees are non-refundable, and expelled members usually forfeit any remaining dues. Check the specific club’s bylaws or membership terms, which set out what happens.

Can a private club remove you without giving a reason?
Often, yes. Many clubs reserve broad discretion to end or decline to renew a membership if they consider a member’s conduct contrary to the club’s interests, and they are not always required to explain. The specific terms depend on each club’s rules.

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