At most Manhattan private clubs, the single biggest factor in getting in is a current member willing to vouch for you. Here is how club sponsorship really works, why it cannot be bought, and how the best sponsorships happen without anyone asking.

Club sponsorship at a glance

What a sponsor is A current member who vouches for an applicant
What they put on the line Their own reputation with the club
How many you need Varies by club; often one or two
Is it required? At selective clubs, nearly always in practice. At Soho House, it helps but is not formally required
Best way to get one Be someone a member already wants to introduce
Worst way Ask a near-stranger, or offer something in return

Ask anyone who has joined a selective club in Manhattan what mattered most in their application, and the answer is almost never the essay or the job title. It is a name: the member who stood up for them.

That person goes by different titles depending on the club: sponsor, proposer, seconder, referrer. The idea is the same everywhere, and it is very old. A club is a group of people who trust each other, and the only way into a group like that is through someone already inside.

It is also the part of the process that people most misunderstand. Some assume a sponsor can be bought. Some think any member will do. Both approaches tend to end the same way, with a polite silence from the committee.

What does a club sponsor actually do?

A club sponsor is a current member who formally recommends an applicant to the membership committee, usually by adding their name to the application and sometimes by writing a letter. By doing so, the sponsor puts their own reputation behind the applicant. If the new member causes problems, it reflects on the person who brought them in.

It is a bit like co-signing a friend’s apartment lease. You are not paying the rent, but if things go wrong, the landlord knows your name. That is why sponsors are careful, and why committees listen to them.

Do you need a sponsor to join a NYC club?

At most selective Manhattan clubs, a sponsor is effectively essential, even when it is not formally required. At larger clubs, it is optional but helpful. Soho House does not formally require a referral, but a referral significantly improves an applicant’s odds, according to Pearl.

The more selective the club, the more the sponsor matters. The Aman Club is by invitation only. Zero Bond says it looks for members who show integrity and can contribute to its community, according to Artnet News, a standard that is very hard to prove on paper and very easy for a trusted member to vouch for.

Does it matter who your sponsor is?

It matters a great deal. A sponsor who is active, well liked and careful about recommendations carries far more weight than one who rarely visits or vouches for everyone. At Soho House, referrals from active, engaged members count for more than those from members who seldom come in, according to Pearl.

Committees can also tell how well a sponsor knows the applicant. A letter that says “a pleasure to know” is worth very little. A letter that describes ten years of friendship, a specific act of kindness and why the applicant would add something to the room is worth almost everything. The best sponsor is not the most famous member you know. It is the one who knows you best.

Can you buy a sponsor?

No, and attempting it is one of the fastest ways to end an application. A sponsor who accepts money or favors in exchange for a recommendation risks their own membership, and committees are good at noticing when a recommendation sounds transactional.

Zero Bond’s founder, Scott Sartiano, has said someone once offered him $250,000 to get into the club, according to Dan’s Papers, citing the New York Post. If the owner will not take a quarter of a million dollars, a member is unlikely to risk their standing for a lot less. Sponsorship works precisely because it cannot be bought. The moment it can be, it is worthless.

How do you ask someone to sponsor you?

The best sponsorships are never asked for directly. They happen when a member suggests it first, usually after months or years of spending time together, often in the club itself as their guest. When a member says “You should really join,” the hard part is already done.

If you do need to ask, ask someone who knows you well, ask privately and make it easy for them to say no. A good way to frame it: “I would love to apply. Would you feel comfortable recommending me, or would you rather not? Either answer is completely fine.” Then mean it. A friend who declines is protecting the friendship and the club at the same time.

Things to avoid: asking someone you have met once, asking several members at the same club at the same time, and following up repeatedly. Committees and sponsors both notice applicants who want it too badly. Our story on why NYC clubs turn down millionaires explains why.

What does a sponsor owe the club afterward?

Once their applicant becomes a member, a good sponsor stays involved. They introduce the new member to others, explain the unwritten rules and, if necessary, have a quiet word when something goes wrong. Soho House holds members responsible for the behavior of their guests, and many clubs hold sponsors to a similar informal standard for the members they bring in.

The new member owes something too: being the person the sponsor promised. The best way to thank a sponsor is not a gift. It is a year of being good company, so that when the committee looks back, the recommendation looks wise.

Who decides how many sponsors you need, and who owns the club?

Each club sets its own rules, and those rules are written by the club’s owners. In the newer Manhattan clubs, owners are usually hospitality groups or companies rather than the members themselves, which gives them final say over membership. Casa Cipriani’s bylaws, for example, give the proprietor discretion over fees, according to The Pricer.

That is an important difference from the old member-owned clubs, where members vote. A sponsor at a company-owned club is recommending you to a business, not just to friends. Our story on who really owns your club explains why that matters.

The vouch you build for free

Here is the encouraging part. A sponsor is not something you find when you decide to apply. It is something you build, slowly, by being a good friend, colleague and guest for years. Every introduction you make, every favor you do without being asked and every dinner where you listen more than you talk adds to it.

That kind of reputation opens more doors than any club. It just happens to be the one thing every club is really looking for. For the full application process, read our hub on how to get into a private club in NYC, and for the bigger picture, our guide to the velvet rope wars.

Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between a proposer and a seconder?
At clubs that use both, the proposer is the member who formally nominates the applicant, and the seconder is a second member who supports the nomination. Requiring two members makes it harder for one person to bring in someone the rest of the club does not know.

Can a sponsor get in trouble for a bad recommendation?
Informally, yes. A sponsor’s reputation with the committee suffers if the new member behaves badly, and their future recommendations may carry less weight. Clubs such as Soho House also hold members formally responsible for their guests’ behavior.

Can you join a private club without knowing anyone?
At larger clubs such as Soho House, yes, though a referral improves your chances. At selective clubs such as the Aman Club, which is by invitation only, it is very difficult. Spending time in the club as a guest is the usual first step.

Sources