He can buy almost anything. What he cannot seem to buy is a Tuesday with nothing on it. Why unscheduled time has become the scarcest luxury on the East End, and what the research says about buying it back. Part of our series on what the rich now pay for that used to be free.

The Friday Rule

Call him David. He is a composite of a type the Hamptons collects every summer: a founder in his fifties who sold one company, runs another and sits on three boards. His house in Sag Harbor has a dock, a boat and a view of the bay that he describes, without irony, as wasted on him.

Two summers ago, David made a rule. No calls after noon on Fridays, from Memorial Day to Labor Day. His assistant was told to say he was unavailable, not that he was traveling or in a meeting. Just unavailable.

The first few Fridays were hard. He checked his phone in the shower. By August, something shifted. He took the boat out. He read a novel. He sat on the dock with his wife and talked about nothing in particular for two hours. When friends heard about the rule, they did not mock it. They asked how he got away with it.

That question is the whole story.

Why is free time a status symbol now?

Free time has become a status symbol because so few successful people have any. For decades, being busy signaled importance. Now that nearly everyone is busy, the rare person who controls their own calendar stands out. Unscheduled time shows that your business, your staff and your money work without you hovering over them.

The most time-rich sentence I hear in the Hamptons is not about a house or a boat. It is someone saying, “I’m out here all week. Let’s meet up anytime.” No calendar invite, no assistant, no window between calls. Just an open week, offered casually, which is about the most expensive thing a person can offer.

The brand strategist Eugene Healey has made a version of this argument in his writing on post-luxury: being openly wasteful with time is itself becoming a flex, available mostly to people whose wealth or social standing does not require constant hustle. The man who can afford to do nothing on a Friday is signaling something a watch cannot.

What the research says about buying time

The most useful study on this comes from Ashley Whillans, Elizabeth Dunn, Michael Norton and colleagues, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in 2017. They surveyed more than 6,000 adults in the United States, Canada, Denmark and the Netherlands. People who regularly spent money to save time, by paying someone to clean, cook or run errands, reported greater life satisfaction. The effect held across the income spectrum, not just for the wealthy.

The researchers then ran an experiment. Sixty working adults in Vancouver received $40 on two weekends, spending it once on a time-saving purchase and once on a material one. They felt happier after buying time.

The striking part is how rarely people do it. When the team asked 98 working adults how they would spend a $40 windfall, only 2 percent mentioned buying time. Whillans has suggested one reason: busyness is widely perceived as a status symbol, so people are reluctant to give it up even when they can afford to.

Why the rich are often the most time-poor

More money tends to bring more obligations. Every new asset needs managing, every board seat needs meetings, and every success creates people who want a piece of your attention. The founder we profiled in The Self-Made Man Who’s One Phone Call From Ruin could not take a day off because one client could end his business with a single call.

There is a psychological cost too. A 2020 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, led by Deborah Ward with Lora Park and Ashley Whillans, found that people who base their self-worth on financial success tend to feel more pressured, spend less time with family and friends, and feel lonelier. The research covered more than 2,600 participants across five studies. The chase for the number eats the hours that make the number worth having.

The Catch: time without a purpose

Free time is a luxury only if you know what to do with it. We wrote about the other side in He Sold His Company, Got Everything He Wanted, but Lost His Purpose, the story of a man who hit his number and woke up on a Tuesday with nothing he had to do. For him, the empty calendar was not freedom. It was a void.

The difference between David and that man is not the amount of free time. It is what fills it. David’s Fridays have people in them: his wife, his kids when they visit, two old friends who come out on the jitney. Time becomes a luxury when it is spent on the things the busy years crowded out. Our story on why money cannot buy old friends picks up that thread.

How to buy back time, the Hamptons way

Start by buying out of the tasks that drain you, the way the PNAS study suggests: the errands, the logistics, the chores. Then protect the time you freed, which is harder. A rule like David’s works because it is simple and public. Everyone knows the Friday afternoon is gone, so nobody asks for it.

The goal is not to fill the hours with more optimization. Healey’s point is that the new flex is time that does not have to be productive. A long lunch. A boat with no destination. A novel read in one sitting.

Back on the Dock

On the last Friday in August, David’s phone stayed in a kitchen drawer from noon to Sunday night. He spent the afternoon on the bay with his son, who had come home from his first job in the city and talked the whole time about how busy he was.

David listened, and smiled, and did not give him any advice. He just handed him a fishing rod. Some lessons teach themselves, as long as nobody is checking their phone.

Frequently asked questions

Can money buy happiness by buying time?
Research suggests it can. A 2017 study of more than 6,000 adults in four countries, published in PNAS, found that people who spent money to save time, such as paying for cleaning or errands, reported greater life satisfaction. The effect appeared across income levels, not just among the wealthy.

Why is being busy seen as a status symbol?
Being busy signals that a person is in demand and indispensable. Researchers including Harvard Business School’s Ashley Whillans have noted that busyness is widely perceived as a status symbol, which is one reason people skip vacations and rarely spend money to buy themselves free time.

Why do wealthy people often feel short of time?
More wealth usually brings more obligations, such as assets to manage, boards to sit on and people asking for attention. A 2020 study also found that people who base their self-worth on financial success feel more pressured and spend less time with family and friends.

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