For a generation of Wall Street men, sleep was something you bragged about skipping. Out east, the new boast is the opposite: eight uninterrupted hours, a cool dark room and nobody who can call before nine. This is part of our series on what the rich now pay for that used to be free.

The Man Who Left at 9:45

The dinner is in Bridgehampton, on a terrace that faces a potato field turned into a lawn. Call the host’s friend Michael. He is a composite, stitched from a type every summer produces, though you will recognize him.

He wears a sleep-tracking ring on his right hand, the way men his age once wore a signet ring. At 9:45, with dessert still coming, Michael stands up, thanks the host, and says he is protecting his sleep. He has an early tennis game and he likes to be in bed by 10:30.

Fifteen years ago, a man who said that at a Hamptons dinner would have been teased all the way to his car. The table would have read it as weakness, or as a sign that his deal had gone south. This summer, two people at the table asked him how he does it. One asked for the name of his sleep doctor.

That small reversal tells you a lot about where status has gone.

Why is sleep a status symbol now?

Sleep is a status symbol because it has become scarce, and scarce things signal rank. The CDC recommends at least seven hours a night for adults. In 2022, about 37 percent of American men and 39 percent of adults aged 45 to 64 reported getting less. A man who sleeps eight hours is announcing that his time belongs to him.

People out here brag about a good night’s sleep the way they once bragged about a boat. At dinners this summer I saw more Oura rings than I heard anyone recite a sleep score; the ring itself has become the signal.

That last part is the real signal. Anyone can buy a mattress. What you cannot easily buy is a life in which nobody calls at 6 a.m., no flight leaves before dawn and no deal needs you at midnight. A full night of sleep is evidence of a whole arrangement behind it: people who handle things, a business that runs without you hovering, and the confidence to say no.

From “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” to the Sleep Score

For decades, the opposite was true. The trading floor, the law firm and the startup all treated exhaustion as proof of commitment. The banker who answered email at 2 a.m. was signaling that he was indispensable. Being busy was the brag.

Researchers noticed. Ashley Whillans, the Harvard Business School professor whose work on time and money we cover in our story on free time, has observed that busyness is widely perceived as a status symbol. People skip vacations they have already earned, partly because looking overworked looks important.

Then the costs became hard to ignore. The CDC has linked short sleep to obesity, diabetes and heart disease, and the longevity industry turned sleep into a number you can track every morning. Once sleep had a score, it could be compared, and once it could be compared, it could signal status. The 2 a.m. email stopped looking heroic. It started looking like a man whose life was running him.

What a good night’s sleep actually signals

A good night’s sleep signals control. It tells people your calendar answers to you, not the other way around. In the Hamptons, where many guests are founders, investors and executives, that control is the scarcest asset in the room, more than the house, which can be rented, or the car, which can be leased.

It also signals a kind of maturity about money. The man who protects his sleep has decided that the next deal is not worth his health. That is a decision only people who feel secure can make comfortably. We explored the opposite condition in Everyone Out Here Is Loaded. Nobody Feels Rich., where the engine keeps running long after the destination is reached.

Can you buy better sleep?

You can buy the conditions for better sleep, but not the sleep itself. The conditions are what the East End sells: a quiet house, blackout shades, a cool bedroom and a schedule with room in it. The longevity market adds the rest. Our map of Hamptons wellness clinics shows how far the menu has spread, and our guide to NAD+, IV drips and peptides covers the treatments people add on top.

The cheapest tools work best. Our Hamptons longevity protocol recommends ten to twenty minutes of morning light outdoors, a three-hour gap between the last big meal and bed, and treating alcohol as a choice instead of a default. None of it requires a membership. All of it requires a life with enough slack to follow it.

The Catch: when sleep becomes a scoreboard

There is a risk in all of this, and it is a familiar one. The same people who once competed over who slept least can now compete over who sleeps best. A ring that scores your night can become one more leaderboard, read over coffee and compared at lunch. A habit meant to free you from the game can pull you back into it.

The people who seem to get the most from sleep treat it the way old money treats a good watch. They take care of it and do not talk about it much. As we argued in our piece on flexing wealth, the loudest signal is often the least secure.

Back on the Terrace

Michael’s early exit did not end the dinner. The party went on until midnight, and the people who stayed had a good time. But the next morning, at seven, Michael was on the court in Bridgehampton, rested and clear, while half the table was reaching for a second coffee.

He did not win anything. He just started the day as himself, which, out here, has become one of the rarest things money cannot quite buy.

Frequently asked questions

How much sleep do adults need?
The CDC recommends at least seven hours of sleep a night for adults aged 18 and older. Adults who regularly get less are considered to have short sleep duration, which the CDC has linked to higher risks of obesity, diabetes and heart disease.

How many Americans don’t get enough sleep?
Roughly a third of American adults get less than seven hours a night. In 2022, the CDC found insufficient sleep was most common among men, at 37 percent, and among adults aged 45 to 64, at 39 percent. Rates ranged from 30 percent in Vermont to 46 percent in Hawaii.

How can you sleep better during a busy Hamptons summer?
Get ten to twenty minutes of outdoor light soon after waking, leave about three hours between your last full meal and bed, keep the bedroom cool and dark, and treat alcohol as an occasional choice. Late dinners are manageable when the meal is smaller and followed by a short walk.

Sources