Wow . . . didn’t it feel like we were just here at the Golden Pear grabbing an issue of Social Life to read at the beach in between drop-off and Soul Cycle classes? I couldn’t be happier that we are together again in the Hamptons, kicking off the summer of 2019.
It seems every Memorial Day weekend I am bombarded with questions like “How do I get off these 20 pounds I put on since I saw you last?” or “Stacey, why are you so skinny. Are you eating?” Let me tell you one thing I would love for us all to do: Let’s make a commitment to asking each other “How are you emotionally?”
Behind every weight loss or gain is an answer to how we got there. I think asking that question could spark a trend of taking that extra moment to check in with each other and go above and beyond just being just physically present in our friendship circles.
As we approach the new summer, try to remember that during the year circumstances may have changed for people in your social circles. People in our community may be grieving in their own way, and this may be their first summer that the family is coping with a new dynamic. Try to be sensitive to this possibility. I have found it best to simply ask, “How are you today?” It’s about the moment, not the past or the future. After I lost my father, there were times that I just didn’t want to talk about it at all, and other times I was happy someone asked.
Many families may be welcoming a newborn, basking in the joy of their new addition. They may opt out of your invitations to go out to Pierre’s at night, so perhaps a quick (call first) drive-by is in order top of the summer! Also, it’s possible that John isn’t with Jane, Jeff is with Steve, Janice decided to be with Judy, and Ted became a monk and serves soup at a hostel in India. The summer dynamic gets tricky out here when it comes to hosting and being neutral during others’ special circumstances. Just remember to be sensitive to the dynamic and steer clear of creating a tornado in your home.
Tip: It’s best to alert all parties involved about the guest list first. This will avoid having to dry Betty’s tears in your backyard if she’s sobbing over Ken’s being there with his new mate!
